Never go to sleep on an argument.

Almost 2 weeks ago now it was Pete and I’s 4th wedding anniversary. When we got married, we asked everyone along with the guest book to write their ‘Advice for a happy marriage’ on little cards and envelopes that we collected in a huge apothecary jar. It was our intention to open them on our first wedding anniversary but we forgot and each time I came across them, or remembered them, it was far enough away from another anniversary that we forgot again. This year I stumbled across them more recently and kept them out purposely so we wouldn’t forget again this year.

And so it was that 4 years later we sat on the bed after dinner and took turns to open them and read the advice. Predictably, there were silly ones and funny ones amongst the lovely advice. I was surprised that we could guess who wrote what, even though most were unsigned and whilst we read them out, laughed and pondered, happy memories came flooding back. Like our polaroid photo guest book it was amazing the way you are transported back to that single day.

Just talk to each other and listen to what they have to say, simple.

Find space in your togetherness.

You are two parts of a whole, cherish each day together like it is your last.

Pick your battles!

Love, care and laugh. Don’t be too serious, but listen seriously.

Forgive one another before being asked.

The most dispensed piece of advice was a recurring theme and several of our guests wrote the same sentence…

Never go to sleep on an argument.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never really bought into that particular piece of advice and there have definitely been occasions when we haven’t followed it. Maybe I’m feeling sentimental but recently it struck me that it’s representative of everything that should be good about a marriage. Forgiveness, rising above day to day trials and trivial gripes because what’s important is that you’re together. Loving someone and making sure they know it every day; that they can go asleep secure in that knowledge every night. Putting your relationship first.  Facing problems and life together as a team.


Image Credit: Raw Photography

I know whenever we have gone to sleep on an argument, I’ve always woken feeling sheepish, the disagreement long forgotten. The reasons I had for feeling angry or exasperated always feel trivial and not worthy of the time spent back turned and without the other for comfort.

So I wondered did you do anything similar at your wedding? Have you ever been given advice for your marriage and like me, has your opinion changed as your relationship grows older? Have you got any advice to share here that you have learned from experience?

Love,
Rebecca
xo

PS It’s been a while since I’ve written a personal post – but I’m hoping to write more in the coming months and hope you’ll all join in and add your thoughts in the comments.

Past personal posts…

Spotted: Style Me Vintage Weddings

I have been excited about writing today’s post for what feels like months and this weekend I finally got my hands on a copy of Style Me Vintage: Weddings. I don’t normally write about weddings these days, but this wasn’t hard to make an exception for as it was written by my friend and fellow blogger, Annabel Beeforth of Love My Dress, a wedding blog with ‘a focus on vintage, retro, glamorous, chic and elegant content.’

Way back when I was a wedding blogger (at Rock My Wedding,) I had 2 big goals. 1. I wanted to be featured in Grazia magazine (just because it was my favourite magazine,) and 2. I wanted to write a book. I’ve always taken great pleasure in blogging as an industry and being a part of it as it advances and develops, particularly in the UK, so although it wasn’t me who eventually wrote that book, it gives me no end of pleasure that it’s my friend Annabel who takes that prize and deservedly so.

Annabel is one of the hardest working wedding bloggers out there. Anybody who thinks full time professional blogging is a cushy job really doesn’t know enough about what’s involved. Sure there are perks and glitzy industry events, but nine times out of ten you arrive knackered after the usual slog of prepping blog posts and the part of the job that really takes over, the administration behind the scenes of answering emails and actually running a blog as a business. To add writing a book to that is a massive workload so my hat really goes off to Annabel for pulling it off.

The book, as the title suggests, focuses on vintage wedding style, breaking it down by decade and this is where Annabel really shows off the incredible knowledge she has developed as an expert in vintage style. There are real vintage style weddings and inspirational styled images. Each chapter also has sections on perfecting every aspect of your look for an authentic take on vintage inspired, with beauty, fashion, stationery and decor touches to complete the look.

And what a job Annabel has done. I love a good coffee table book – for me they have to be beautiful to hold and beautifully illustrated. Annabel ensured that when she enlisted Joanna Brown who has captured the images which really are of the highest quality and completely breathtaking in places. Special mention goes to Michelle Kelly, (my colleague at Dream Find Do,) and founder of Pocketful of Dreams, who styled the images to ‘create distinct decor elements that would bring each era to life’ with her impeccable eye and managed to make vintage very very modern. Zoe Lem takes credit for the fashion picks and styling.

For me the triumph of this book is in its genuine display of knowledge, collection of real historical references and then the incredibly thoughtful respresentation of those eras presented in the inspiration images.

You can find Style Me Vintage: Weddings on Amazon – if you need to buy a gift for a bride to be that you know, if she likes vintage style then I guarantee she’ll love it. 🙂

Well Done Annabel!

Love,
Rebecca
xo

A Reverie Lifestyle: Florence Finds Fashion

The end of April has been and gone and as such it was time for me to pop over to Reverie Magazine’s blog and do my monthly lifestyle post. This month, I decided to bring a bit of sartorial style to the Reverie pages and tackled occasion wear dilemmas.

I figured that many of you will be heading off to weddings, the races and other formal events this summer (please let the sun arrive soon!) and might need a few ideas. Head on over to get your fashion fix and a few tips, whether you want modern country, formal but fun or goddess gorgeous style…

Love,
Rebecca
xo

Sneak Peek: Reverie Magazine


Cover Image credit: Our Labour of Love

I’m taking the opportunity today to share some sneaky peek images from the forthcoming issue of Reverie magazine, out this Thursday. You might all remember me gushing about how fabulous I thought it was and also my joining up with them to provide a monthly lifestyle post as their resident lifestyle expert. You can read my inaugural post here.

The new issue launches on Thursday when you’ll be able to feast your eyes on stunning weddings featuring Our Labor of Love, Joel Serrato, Lisa Lefkowitz, Leo Patrone, Aaron Delesie, Elizabeth Messina, Jodie Chapman, Sarah Gawler, Polly Alexandre, Ashton Jean-Pierre and many more. There is also plenty of pretty in the form of bridal fashion and wedding details, many of which transfer to celebrating your everyday life if you’re not planning a wedding!

For now all I’ll say is, you saw it here first and you’ll be seeing a little more from me when the issue itself launches with a special feature from Florence Finds!

Love,
Rebecca
xo

The Marriage of Mahj and Martin, Part 1

This afternoon I have a very special post to share with you and something slightly unusual for Florence Finds, a wedding. It’s not just any wedding though, it’s the wedding of Mahj and Martin, Mahj being one of the Rock My Wedding Real Brides. The Real Brides over at RMW were one of my favourite parts of it and one of the things I was most proud of. Getting to know them and helping them out where I could was fun, but the best part was seeing the final result. Completing the cycle with the final wedding posts was one of the things that I missed the most when my time there came to an end. Mahj became a good friend of mine during her time writing for RMW and her unwavering support of me and of Florence Finds has been phenomenal. I’m incredibly grateful for her loyalty and that she wanted to see her wedding report finished by me, and shared on Florence Finds.

Thank you so much Mahj and Martin, I hope I’ve done you both justice…:)

As I sit here to write this, I keep drifting off. Smiling slightly (and at times a little crazily) when remembering parts of the day. As I write this, I have been married for 6 months and 2 days. But in the words of Bo Selecta (!) maybe we need a little rewind?!

I was never just having a wedding day. Oh no. Not for Mr and Mrs Ansari’s youngest daughter. I had what affectionately came to be known as ‘Wedding Week’. Yeah, a whole week of celebrations. But in my defence, Mrs A was behind a lot of it and I wasn’t about to mess with her. Not on this.

My family started to arrive around a week before the wedding from all corners of the globe. It was really bloody lovely as I hadn’t seen some of them for years. I was so touched that they had made the effort to travel so far.

The Mehndi
Wednesday 20th July saw the dawn of my Mehndi (henna party). The day started early for my bridesmaids and I, as my henna artist, an unbelievably talented lady called Sabha, had me having henna put on at 9am. 9am people. And it took 5 hours in total to do my hands and feet. My lesson learnt is to not drink tea whilst having said henna put on as that could lead to awkwardness when needing to pee later on…oh gosh, have I just said pee on Florence Finds?!

My Mehndi was as I expected it to be as I hadn’t had a hand in it. Complete bedlam, disorganised and everyone yelling and bossing each other around. Sigh. Welcome to an Asian Wedding. But all that drama-rama aside, this was probably the point when everything started to feel very very real.

I’ve been to plenty of other bride-to-be’s Mehndis and enjoyed them. But to be having my own was 2 parts surreal,1 part nerve-wracking! I knew this day would come but was not prepared for everyone looking at me and asking lots of questions and being so genuinely interested and curious in how it all unfolds.

Really the hardest thing was walking into the room. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me and my face got hot and my skin started prickling and all I could think was “Jesus Mahj, there will be more people at the wedding!”

So at the Mehndi, everyone gets to together to wish the bride well for her married life. They tied flowers around my wrists and fed me sweets and dabbed henna onto my palms. You know, the usual!

Mine was a pretty informal do. After all the Mahj-blessing there was some time to have some photos taken and catch up with everyone. Then there was food and lots of it (seriously, my parents fed people for weeks on the leftovers!) and there may have been some dancing. Ok, there definitely was some dancing. I was supposed to be having a professional dancer coming but unfortunately got let down at the last minute.

Luckily I have some very hyperactive aunts who jammed their Bhangra CD’s in and away we went. Most surprisingly, I loved it! Jigging away to fast-paced Bhangra music isn’t normally how I get down (haha, i can’t believe I just said “how I get down”) but I really enjoyed myself!

Wedding
And so it dawned. I had managed to sleep the night before, though I’m guessing the few glasses of champagne had helped with that. I felt good. Excited, rested, nervous, giddy and a little sick that the day had finally arrived. And I was calm. Or so I’d thought. I’d done all I could in terms of planning and so now had come the time to enjoy the fruits of my labour…except I still tried to continue controlling the day later on and got the stern face from our wedding co-ordinator and my new husband and was told to relax and leave the staff to it. Oops.

My sharpest memories of the day come from the morning. The getting-ready-with-my-ladies part. It was a pretty relaxed affair (probably because Mrs A hadn’t turned up yet!) and it was whilst I was jumping up and down on the bed (as you do) that the hair and make-up dream team arrived, Michelle and Hayley. Shortly followed by our completely fantastic, we-love-him-so-much-we-could-squish-him photographer Andy Wardle.

I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with my bridesmaids that morning. As soon as I hit that aisle I barely saw them for the rest of the day.

I think I remember putting on my outfit quite early, like around 12pm (we were getting married at 2pm), Mrs A was dead against this but I ignored her. I was determined to spend as much time as humanly possible in that outfit. By this point my hair and make-up were done and I’d stopped panicking about my eyes “being too smokey” and me having too much make up on as Michelle had patiently explained to me that I would need it to last the day and also so I didn’t look washed out on the photos. She was right of course.

And sweet Jesus, dressed in my outfit, hair and make-up done, I felt beautiful. Like really really gorgeous. Knock your socks off schmoking. And so excited. I couldn’t wait for Martin to see me and for me to see him.

And I’ll bet you guys can’t wait to see her walking down the aisle either!

Come back tomorrow to see the second part in all its detailed glory – the paper pretty, the florals, the magnificent cake, but most of all the joy.

Love,
Rebecca
xo

Saturday Survey and Sneak Peek

Happy weekend readers!

Once again, I’m canvassing opinions from you all and remain ever grateful for the time you spend replying to my questions. As always, if you’d like to feed something back that isn’t covered then please email me on hello@florencefinds.com I love to hear all your thoughts on Florence Finds, good or bad. 🙂

Firstly, Five things…

I mentioned my latest nail polish find from H&M in this weeks What to Wear post, but just had to share the ice-cream sherbet colours with you properly. I can’t find the set online to link to, but you can find all 4 in store for £2.99. We love a bargain here at Florence Finds, so we do 🙂

I’ve been busy accessory buying this week as I treated myself to this yellow and nude enamel bangle from Banana Republic which I’ve been coveting for an unreasonable amount of time.

At the same time I stumbled across something I wasn’t really looking for… that elusive statement necklace. This one is chunky, bright, bold and lady like all at the same time and I snapped it up without hesitation, also from Banana Republic. Soon to be seen in a WTW!


How beautiful is this clear confetti balloon from Bon Bon Balloons on A Diary of Lovely

On a more serious note… you’ve all been a little quiet of late. I don’t know if it’s half term or what, and I’ve certainly noticed that commenters doesn’t = readers, there’s more of you every time I look around, but why so quiet readers? Then I was catching up on A Safe Mooring and the lovely Kirsty just so eloquently explained everything I was thinking. Thanks Kirsty 🙂

Bonus Sneak Peek
This week you get a bonus… a sneak peek at what’s coming next week. And my goodness, this has been a long time coming. Some of you will know instantly what you’re about to see, others will be intrigued. You’re all going to LOVE it!

Five Questions
1. Do you have a favourite type of recipe to see on Florence Finds? (meals, baking etc)
2. Have you participated (ie read the suggested book) in Florence’s Book club yet and if not why not – what kind of books would you like to see featured?
3. How do you prefer to see beauty covered on Florence Finds? (ie tutorials, new products, recommendations and reviews?)
4. What kind of Travel do you want to see covered? (ie UK short breaks, City breaks, hotel reviews, destination guides, longer trips?)
5. (The hard one) It’s the weekend… what am I likely to find you doing?

Love,
Rebecca
xo

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