The Fash Flash: Summer capsule

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to my summer wardrobe lately… the dreary March we had followed by the recent gorgeous weather means I’ve managed not to do much in the way of wardrobe updating through spring and feel I now need a whole new summer wardrobe as I’m finally ready to enjoy getting dressed again. I’m still not back to my pre-pregnancy size which is tricky as I can now get my old jeans and trousers on… but the mid section as result is not pretty, which means options for the top half are limited. I really need to put some effort into shaping up, but that’s a whole other post!


Temperley for John Lewis Tile print jumpsuit. // Openwork white blouse, Mango. // Birkenstock Arizona’s // Ash Virgo glitte sneaker // ASOS dress // Linen Tee, Zara // Dipdye jumper, M&S // Denim shorts, New Look.

I’m trying to do the capsule approach again. It definitely has flaws, in that it doesn’t allow for spontaneity, but I think it makes up for that in financial planning, not having to shop (including last minute,) and in a similar way it offers me a feel good factor in that once it’s done, I don’t suddenly stress that I have nothing to wear for a looming event, not have time to address it, and as a consequence go out feeling rubbish. This spring we had a Christening, I had a night out with the girls and a couple of other things, that were a rare chance to dress up that I now feel ready for, but I had nothing to wear. My capsule had become too casual and ‘day-time’ with no ability to dress it up so I’m keeping that in mind this time. I had cheated a bit this spring and bought 4 different stripe tops: a traditional Boden navy/white breton, 2 Gap bretons in yellow/pale grey and a thicker dark grey/cream, and a Jonnie B red breton with an overlying print. I have pretty much worn them in rotation non-stop while the weather wasn’t as warm and now I’m ready to tackle the whole thing.

As always, these posts are inspired by Caroline over on Un-fancy.com – she has a great capsule wardrobe planner that you can use but I have adapted it a little to suit my thought processes and if you are planning a wardrobe reshuffle you might want to use her planner or my list below to help you get started.

Here’s what I have done so far.

1. What have I got already?
This involved opening up my storage wardrobe and facing the nightmare of trying on my pre-pregnancy wardrobe. Some things I fitted and were a pleasant surprise and I’ve dragged out a few bits that are tight but I hope will fit better as the weeks go on, as I’m still slowly losing weight. I’ve salvaged quite a few bottom half bits here: a pair of mint shorts from GAP and some printed white GAP khakis. My old boyfriend jeans fit again too and an old faithful summer shirt has been pulled out along with a couple of workwear items.

I also scrutinised the items I had already, in my existing winter/spring wardrobe, to see what I could keep. This includes shoes.

2. What do I need to plan for?
First and foremost I need to assemble some kind of work wardrobe. My work wardrobe used to be quite interchangeable with my daily wardrobe whereas they have polarised somewhat now. I wouldn’t want to wear much of it at home as it’s not comfortable enough or able to withstand the mess that Bea makes, plus my off-duty style has become a lot more sloppy!

Secondly, I have events coming up. We plan to have Bea Christened and have another Christening and friends baby birthday coming. There will likely be a couple of barbecue’s and evenings or lunches out too so I need to factor in a couple of fancy outfits, although I’m giving myself a free pass for her Christening to buy something nearer the time if I feel the need.

3. How do I want to dress?
This needed to be broken down into 2 parts, work and home.

For work, I am only there 3 days a week and lots of my work clothes are tailored so don’t fit but are really nice and I still like. The goal there has to be to get back into them, and in the meantime I’m bringing together a very small capsule of half a dozen outfits I can make do with.

For home, my overriding need is things that are practical to look after Bea in, but also feel nice in. As I wear Bea in the sling so much I think about if I’ll be able to wrap over them, and as we’re still breastfeeding, I think about access too, although Bea is hardly feeding in the day now. And I think about a few trend led pieces that might appeal to me – usually by flicking back through Erins posts – much quicker than scouring the magazines!

I also have a think about what I like to wear. Last year I LIVED in shorts and imagine I’ll do the same again and think about what I want to wear on top as a result. I also wore a waterfall aztec cardigan all the time over winter and am sad to put it away so I’ll be looking for a replacement for throwing on in summer.

4. What do I need?
Once I’ve decided what I have, and what I want, I think about what I need to fill the gaps. For occasion wear (i.e. anything that isn’t day to day at home!) I’m going to buy a nice dress and a jumpsuit. I need that cardigan and a lighter summer jumper. I’m going to invest in some basics, like a perfect navy tee and some denim shorts. As far as trends go, I’d like to nod to the folk trend with a white folk top. And my shoes need sorting out, new converse, new summer flip flops and possibly some work flats.

Lastly, looking through my wardrobe has meant I’ve been able to identify things for charity and for sale to help fund the new pieces. I always find when I go back to my wardrobe I’m able to be much more ruthless and immediately there are things that stand out that I know I don’t want anymore. I then decide if I could get anything on eBay for them and list them – so far this time I’ve made £75 so far selling old shirts, tops and dresses for £5 here and £10 there, plus a decent sum for an old bag. Its definitely worth doing and every little helps ;)

I’ll be back to share my actual capsule wardrobe in a week hopefully – I’m just waiting for the last bits to arrive. Have you done any summer shopping yet? Can I tempt you with a capsule?!

Love,
Rebecca
xo

8 months with Bea…

Whoa. Where is the time going? I went back to work days before Bea was 8 months and as I write, we are approaching 9 months. Fast. I want to just hit pause sometimes!

Somewhere around 7 months it seems like we entered a whole new phase with Bea. The one where she never. stays. still. The big news this month was the beginning of crawling… but even before that she was rolling, spinning and wriggling anywhere she wanted to go within one room. We were on the edge of crawling for so long and still I was always convinced she was about to do it, but we weren’t really sure when to say she had. So many developmental things she has done were instant, sudden smiles one day, suddenly sitting on another. Crawling has been much more of a gradual progression from rolling around, to spinning on her belly, all the yoga moves of getting some air and lifting herself up, commando crawling around, then suddenly she used her hands too and was off… she was 34 weeks or just short of 8 months.

It’s been another really rubbish month of sleep too. For the first time, the developmental leap surrounding her learning to crawl wreaked havoc and when she turned over at night she got straight up onto her knees then seemed to wake up disorientated and crying. Only feeding settled her back down. Bea came down with another horrible cold on Mothers day – by far her worst yet, she actually had her first temperature and was thick with snot for the best part of 2 weeks. That meant after 2 nights of sleeping through again after the crawling settled, we were back to being up several times a night. After having moved her out in to the nursery we set up the travel cot in our room again as I couldn’t cope with getting up so many times to the nursery and we fell into co-sleeping habits to allow for soothing feeding back to sleep and a bit more shut eye for me. At the end of month 8 and unfortunately with me now back at work, things were better but not massively and we’re still up 2-3 times a night. :/

Since then, Bea has got a whole lot busier. She is speeding around the room, following me out of the rooms and into other rooms, like a little shadow. She’s interested in everything except the toys you place in front of her, particularly wires, dirty shoes, ornaments and every hazardous item I fail to remove in advance of her roving crawl!

So how are things with you mama’s out there? Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Love,
Rebecca

PS
7 months, 6 months, 5 months, 4 months, 3 months, 2 months and the first month with Bea.

My (old) house garden…

Right now I am totally immersed in garden planning and I’ll be chatting about that soon, but first it occurred to me that I don’t think I ever shared my old garden, before we moved house. The new garden is a pretty decent size and unusually large for where we live. It’s nothing compared to some country dwellers, but for urban Manchester suburbs, its big. (London readers will relate!) The old house was a 3 up, 3 down, typical mid-terrace and had a yard at the back when we moved in. It was 4 metres square but we had patio doors going out onto it from the kitchen and it was South West facing. We had never had our own outdoor space before, so I was determined to make somewhere we could relax.


Image by Lawson Photography

It ended up being a relatively cheap and easy project. When we moved in the ‘yard’ was concreted over entirely and the developer we bought the house from had added a square deck kit over the top, directly out from the kitchen patio doors, which happened to be the shadiest part of the garden.) There were also some decking material planters with cheap bedding plants in them and it couldn’t have looked more hasty, ill considered or ugly. The pictures don’t give a great overall view (they were taken for the Good Homes magazine feature on my old home by Laura and Peter Lawson.) but you can get the gist here that we created a courtyard garden that still had room for growing plants and greenery.

Here is one of my own photos from above showing the layout:


Image by Rebecca @ FlorenceFinds.com

What we did:

  • Paid someone to come and remove the decking and drill up the concrete yard.
  • Marked off an L shaped border at the back left and to the right of the gate for plants, edged with Victorian style terracotta rope edging.
  • Built two steps down from the back door with indian stone slabs and a simple brick layer to create the steps. (I’ve linked to B&Q but check your local builders yard for the best prices on garden hard landscaping.)
  • Laid an Indian stone patio in the sunniest corner of the garden, with stepping stones of indian stone straight out of the back door to the back gate and from the patio to the back gate.


Image by Lawson Photography

  • Laid weed supressing membrane and put golden gravel down over it.
  • Put in a trellis panel to hide the side return where our bins were stored.
  • Planted climbing plants to cover the walls (Left wall – shade loving Clibing hydrangea, Pyracantha for berries and where it got sunnier a Ceanothus for the stunning blue flowers; On the right side we had climbing roses and a Clematis Montana.)
  • Planted the borders and some pots for an overflowing look. These were cheap plants bought mostly in the supermarkets with a couple of David roses too


Image by Lawson Photography

It ended up being a kind of cottage garden meets Mediterranean garden, with the overflowing relaxed style of the cottage garden but with plants that withstood the dry heat microclimate that the walled courtyard created. We had an olive tree by the back door! The pictures here show it about 6 years after completion so it was maturing and the hard landscaping was blending in to look like it had always been there (along with some weeds creeping in, but hey, that’s life!)


Image by Lawson Photography

It really was like my personal oasis and because the walls held the heat we were able to eat out there most dry nights in the summer. I can’t wait to create something equally cosy and inviting but on a grander scale in this house!


Image by Lawson Photography

It seemed timely to talk about Gardens now as everyone is thinking about getting outside… have you got any garden plans this year?

Love,
Rebecca
xo

What to Buy: April

Hi there Readers!

Hope you all had wonderful long Easter weekends. The amazing weather we’ve had here in the South of the country this week has made it for me. Days spent outside sans coat, playing with the Little Man, have been wonderful. There’s something really special about seeing your own child play in the garden that you used to play in as a child (we’ve been at my parents house for the weekend). It’s been lovely to enjoy tea and hot cross buns sitting outside in the sun – honestly, I feel like a different person when the skies are blue and there’s warmth in the air.

The weather has actually got me excited about the summer, and herein lies the foundation of my recommendations of what to buy this month. Options for a bit of bare skin aplenty here ladies…!

Strappy Sandals

A fresh pedicure and the sun has made me think of the warmer months, and now’s the time to pick up a pair of sandals that will see you through. There are lots of strappy options around this summer, and you don’t need model-like legs to carry them off. Either in black or tan (both are great basics although tan just pips black for a summer essential), there are easy-on as well as the more labour-intensive versions. I really like the simplicity of the Mango ones (once on I hasten to add, they take a little bit of tying and I don’t do it up the leg!), but the New Look versions are great (and easy to do up). I actually quite like them in the Gold too…

New Look // Next // Mango // M&S

White Folk Tops

Now this is what I alluded to in my last post. The Folk top. I really love them. I really want to look like one of those easy-going models in one, just casually strolling through a field of sunflowers with a horse. But I don’t. Far from it! I have come to the conclusion that it’s because I have a large-ish chest (34D) and they just don’t sit well on the front, especially the ties. Also the voluminous nature of most of them, although appearing to be flattering, just isn’t on me. It is in fact the opposite. Here are the pick of my favourites though. I have tried them all except the H&M one which I will, but I fear it will be the same old story. I love the idea of the Next one with the tassels, but it just stopped short on my hip so that didn’t work. I’d love to know if any of you can make these work – please, let me live vicariously through you guys!

Mango // H&M // Next // Mango

‘White’ Jeans

No, I haven’t come over all Liz Hurley and I’m not going to recommend you go out and buy a pair of tight white bootcut things, but looking online and on the High Street, white jeans are having a moment. The cut is not the only important thing though. Fabric and colour play a huge part. They need to look effortless but not too “done”. This is why Ecru is better than bright white, and a slightly more boyfriend fit is easier to wear. Dressed up with a jacket and tee (perhaps a stripe with Navy Blazer for work) or down in this transitional season with a neutral oversize knit, they are easier to wear than you think. Maybe not the best thing if you have a toddler in tow, but you can still work them into your wardrobe… all important date night with the other half perhaps…?

Topshop // ASOS // Gap

Citrus Shades

I’m not sure whether I have noticed this more because I am looking for yellow accents to go with some of the makeovers we have done in our house, but zingy citrus shades are popping up everywhere, and I really think they make a Spring/Summer wardrobe. There are shades out there to suit everyone – from the most “ice cream” pastel shades of orange and yellow to the bright neon limes and pinks.  They look wonderful with white or denim, and equally with tan accessories. I love the colour of this J. Crew jumper, and this Whistles print is stunning – perfect for a summer wedding. The Citrus colour that is also in a lot of the collection at J Crew is stunning – would be great with white. I love these shorts.

J.Crew // M&S // Whistles // Zara

A Scarf

Sounds odd I know, but a summer-weight scarf can be a bit of a lifesaver. In these spring months its something that you can put around your shoulders to keep the chill that’s in the air (it’s still April people and although double figures down here, not THAT warm) out, and then come the summer, if it’s large enough, you can even use as a sarong. I love this J.Crew one with the pom poms but just wish the colours were a little less pastel for me personally. A silk one is always a lovely option too – the H&M one here ticks a couple of the SS15 boxes for Citrus and Lilac. You can never go wrong with a Becksondergaard version either. Great length in great colours. ASOS has a brilliant selection.

ASOS // H&M // J.Crew

So readers, I may or may not be back at the end of the month or beginning of next depending on what happens with Bubba No.2. The last Midwife appointment I had confirmed that all is ready to go so it’s just wait and see I guess. I’m hoping beyond hope that we’ll be back in the house before the time comes though. No pressure on our poor builder then…!

Have wonderful April’s all, and I hope that it remains sunny for you for the rest of the month, even if the cooler weather comes back ;)

Erin xx

 

Must have, er… Wednesday?

Apologies readers! I know I have been AWOL of late. Work is ok, but hey, it really eats into your time going to work doesn’t it?! ;)

Right now, between spending time with Bea and work, I’m trying to sandwich in doing the washing and clearing the ever growing pile of ironing, starting to pull tradesmen and plans together for another 2 rooms and the garden, and sort out my spring/summer wardrobe. I’m failing miserably in all departments but desperation whilst dodging grabbing little hands has led me to think a lot about stud earrings, particularly when Bea is up in the sling, so I thought I’d share a few I’ve found here.

Rose gold wire studs // Druzy earrings // Hoop studs // Honeycomb mismatched studs // Gold and labradorite studs // Silver constellation studs // Tiny brushed triangles // Dot Rose Gold and Topaz studs // Gold prism earrings // Gold nugget earrings

All of these are gold plated or vermeil (apart from the silver stars) and range from £12 to £40ish. I never change my jewellery so I don’t mind spending a little bit more – I’m likely to wear whatever I buy 5 or more days a week. (I’m likely to have forgotten altogether to wear earrings on the other 2 days, rather than have swapped them for something else.) ;)

So many pretty choices though… It’s a good job it’s my birthday month!

Love,
Rebecca
xo

PS I also love these too, and these and of course, these.

Fash Flash: Denim dresses

It has been oh such a long time since I looked at dresses thanks to feeding Bea (my style just doesn’t lean towards wrap dress or button fronts,) but summer is coming, my capsule wardrobe won’t build itself and feeds are lessening, so I’m on the hunt.


Shirt dress // Patch pocket shirt dress // T’shirt dress // Tie waist dress

I’ve always been a massive denim fan so I’m ready to jump on board the denim trend (Erin says it’s fashionable, so it must be!) so I thought I’d look for a few dresses. I found one (this swingy Komodo tencel dress) in one of the local independents where I live, but I’d spotted a few online too and thought I’d share them here.

Could you get on board with the denim trend?

How to Wear: March

Morning Readers!

So it’s the last day of March and I’m yet again left wondering where time has gone.

My Month has been a mixture of a short break away with Richard and Calum, lots of work on the house (our move-back-in-date-prior-to-number-two is, fingers crossed looking likely), a lovely pamper/sightseeing day in London with a great friend for her Birthday and of course work (with some fun events rolled in!).


P&O Britannia Launch // At Cowshed Shoreditch for a Pamper Afternoon // Portsmouth from the IOW Ferry on Mothers Day // One of the new bathrooms taking shape

I have managed to pick a few bits up this month that I’m going to be saving for the warmer weather in my “post-maternity/summer box, but more on that in a bit. On to what I’ve been wearing…

Baby Number 2 has definitely made more of an appearance this month and I feel about as big at this point (with about a month to go) as I did at the very end of full-term with Calum. Weirdly though I don’t feel like my legs or arms have changed (which they did last time) so some things are still fitting.

I’ve managed to try out some flares in the form of some Topshop Jessie jeans which I found on eBay in the Maternity style (although I’m finding that over and not under-bump style jeans are more comfortable this time round). These worked well with my Acne Pistol boots in Chestnut.

A pair of ASOS distressed boyfriend jeans (over-bump) have been my best friend and I’ve worn these loads, both for work on a Friday and at the weekends. These were a great buy at £19 in the sale (now sadly sold out but these are similar).


At the Sky Garden in London // ASOS Maternity Distressed Jeans

I also did have a Black tie event to go to but thankfully a Cos Black Sequin dress I found in the recent sale worked. I just sized up one size and as it was a shift anyway, it is fitted perfectly.

Other items that have seen the light of day are some Stan Smiths (proving I do practice what I preach!) and shoes without socks for the teasing warm spell we had mid-month.

Boden Lille Flats // Adidas Stan Smiths // New Look Flats // Office Flats

Finally, as per, stripes have been my friend.


With my team onboard P&O Britannia wearing H&M // DVF Chevron Knitted Dress (non-maternity) // Zara Light Sweatshirt (non-maternity)

Now quickly on to my “Summer Box”.

I’ve noticed more and more in retail that if you don’t get something you like straight away then you are in danger of it being sold out, never to return, and I do suffer from FOMO cases when it comes to clothes every so often. Here are the bits that have made my box this month (most of which you’ve seen before). I’ve bought my normal pre-pregnancy size knowing that I went back to it after Calum so there’s no reason (she hopes) that this won’t be the case again. Ah, the joys of hindsight ;)


Topshop Pintuck Blouse // M&S Denim Skirt // H&M Culottes // H&M Jumpsuit

So that’s it! I’ll be back after the Easter break with my What to Buy April.

There will be something on the list that I hope that you’ll subscribe to. I’ve tried loads of variations but it just doesn’t work on me, boo hoo. I’m going to have to live vicariously through you guys.

‘Til then then. Wishing you all a very Happy Easter that full of family and freinds time, Roasts and Chocolate.

Erin x

Would you…: Keep Breastfeeding at work?

*Warning, if you’re not a mother or not Breastfeeding, you may not enjoy this post! But it’s a normal thing to do, so I’m not holding back on talking about it here.

A few people have asked what I’m doing about feeding now I’m back at work. I’ll share my situation here but each situation when it comes to breastfeeding is as unique as the mother and child combination, so I would love if you would share your experiences and solutions in the comments if you can add to the conversation – I know many readers will be interested and grateful.

Bea is exclusively breastfed and has been since birth. She’s never had any formula as we have been lucky enough not to need it. I’ve not spent a lot of time apart from her and expressing doesn’t bother me that much, apart from it being a bit of faff. We have only infrequently given her bottles, (the bulk of my expressing here and there went in the freezer to bolster my back to work supplies,) mainly when I went to evening practice meetings each month for work. Apart from a brief period around the 4 month mark when she wouldn’t take a bottle, she has taken it when she wants milk, but not in the same enthusiastic way she would breastfeed. We initially started with a Medela calma teat (which is supposed to require the latch a baby needs to breastfeed, to get any milk out of it,) but switched to a slow flow normal teat when she was a bit fussier with a bottle, as I felt if she could taste the milk she might then take the bottle. It worked, but I don’t know if that was just the passage of time rather than the change of teat.

So back to my back to work plan… I’ve kept a close eye on Bea’s feeds since she was born, but continued to track them well after BF was established, mainly to see what I would need to provide for her once back at work. I’ve been asked how I tried to reduce her feeds and I didn’t really try, but two things probably had the greatest impact. Firstly, I didn’t push her to feed generally as she got older and so noticed that she went longer between feeds. That might sound like straight forward demand feeding, but I noticed myself that even though she was fed on demand, you do get into a routine of feeding when you expect they will need feeding rather than waiting for them to be hungry or cry. On occasions where it went a bit longer and I realised she didn’t need a feed until 2.5 or 3 hours after the last one, I tried to adjust things going forwards. Secondly, as she got older and consolidated her three short naps into 2 longer ones (around 6-7 months) that stretched out the feeds again (as she went down for a nap not long before she would normally feed and then I fed her on waking, after more time had elapsed.) Weaning also stretched things out a little more, but it hasn’t made a massive difference really, the meals have just had to be shoehorned in between the feeds.

On the expressing front, as I said, I have stockpiled quite a bit in the freezer (as you can see from my photo’s!) which should also give you an idea of how much milk varies – even on frozen portions you can see how the milk changes in consistency and amount day to day, which I thought might be useful to show if its something that worried you. I was very worried about expressing at work as I have always got the most milk, quickest, by expressing on one side when Bea feeds from the other, I think the let-down is stronger that way. When I have occasionally tried when Bea isn’t even around, its been much slower going and less productive, so I was worried if it would work when I was away from her and back at work. Having done it for the first time yesterday (I didn’t get time on my first day back!) I’m happy to report it was easy! I managed a full bottle easily which is great as I can then use that on friday when I’m back in work again. I’m also lucky that I have my own room at work so I have simply let the staff and my colleagues know I am still feeding Bea and will need to express at some point when I’m at work (so they know why there’s a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door,) and lock the door for privacy.

At the moment, Bea is having 4 feeds a day; Morning, after morning nap, after afternoon nap and before bed. (She’s 8 months but has done this since about 7 months.) Although when she is with me that varies – if she’s distracted at one feed and doesn’t have much she might have one or two more smaller feeds throughout the day, as and when she needs it. So I’m feeding her before work and before bed, and leaving 2 bottles. The only thing that is a bit hit and miss is how much she takes, or what I should be leaving her. Obviously I have no idea how much she takes from me, but I leave 2 full bottles and so far, it’s varied how much she has taken and how often. Sometimes she wolfs a whole bottle (we use the small 150ml ones) and other times she’ll have only a bit and want more later when she wouldn’t normally have a bottle. And there’s always more in the freezer, but obviously at this point, she is having 3 meals a day too.

I did a lot of asking around before getting to this point because feeding her back at work really worried me – mainly that I could get her feeds down to a level that I could keep up with to express enough for her. A lot of mums suggested just going to formula, and although I didn’t want to do that*, I knew if it was coming down to her nutritional needs and me not being able to meet them, then I’d have to do it. Others said their babies just didn’t take a bottle and some moved to giving small amounts in a sippy cup or doidy cup if the baby would take it. Other still said the baby jut waited for them to get back and fed more in the evening (and sometimes at night :/ ) and had just water in the day. So I guess there’s a solution for everyone.

And that’s it, our story. I’ll post a little update when I share more about being back to work, and see what Bea is doing then. I’m hoping as my freezer supply dwindles she may drop another feed and the expressing will take even less effort!

Please do chip in with your experiences readers!

Love,
Rebecca
xo

*Just to clarify, I have NOTHING against formula, I just haven’t felt we’ve needed it so far and because BF is all about supply and demand, especially at this time when supply is naturally decreasing due to reduced feeds, I didn’t want to affect it further. I hope to keep feeding Bea at least until she is one and beyond if she wants it, so I don’t want to do anything to reduce the chances of that happening at this early stage.

Nursery Update: Open wardrobe storage

When I shared Bea’s Nursery I mentioned that there were a few more things we needed in there, including some hanging storage for Bea’s clothes. We have a chest of drawers but I hadn’t anticipated the need for hanging up her dresses and decided to create some open storage so I could also admire them ;)

The walls are very thick in our house and so the chimney breast alcoves aren’t that deep. We had a funny sized alcove in Bea’s room, only 66cms wide and about 30cm deep, so a wardrobe was difficult and shelves seemed to work better. I wanted rails, with a shelf above to add boxes or folded items, but wasn’t sure how to get a rail attached to the wall. Eventually IKEA came good with a typical cheap as chips solution, pimped up with a bit of Wilko’s gold spray paint!

Requirements:
Ikea BYGEL rail £1.50
EKBY HEMNES shelf £12
EKBY VALTER bracket £2

The rails are screwed in under the shelves (after spray painting) so I can hang her clothes from them. I decided the leave the brackets untreated as the wood fits in with the wood blinds and floor in an otherwise very white room. The hangers are from Dunhelm in case you’re interested. I was intending to spray paint them white too but decided to leave them coloured for now (too lazy!)

The whole thing cost about £37 and I’m so pleased with how it looks. I hope you like it too and it inspires you to get creative! ;)

Love,
Rebecca
xo

Back to work Blues…

I’ve put off writing this post for weeks, in a classic example of head in the sand denial. Tomorrow, I’m going back to work.

A bit of context first. I’m going back 3 days a week and doing a phased return, so only Tuesday this week and then 2 days a week for the following 2 weeks before doing the full three days after the Easter weekend. Bea isn’t yet 8 months – she will be on the 21st. Why am I going back now? Financial reasons. I’m technically self employed and have to employ someone to do my job while I’m on Mat leave. The funding for that is only for a set period which ran out some weeks ago and the cost of paying for a locum is prohibitive to do for any longer than I have done. Because I’m going back earlier than I would like, I’ve managed to arrange that Pete will do one day of childcare, and my Mum is doing the other two, then Bea will start in Nursery for at least 1 day a week from being 12 months. That may be more difficult than starting her now on reflection, but thats a topic for another post.

Housekeeping out of the way, how am I feeling? Well thats one of the reasons for not writing the post. I’m not sure I can adequately express how much I don’t want to leave her. Until now, I’ve left her for 4 and a half hours max, and a total of about 5 times in those 7 and a half months since she was born. I haven’t wanted to leave her, I love being with her so much.

I can hear the former me and the judgements I made pre-baby ringing in my ears. Having no understanding of how I would feel, I thought women who didn’t want to go back to work just didn’t want to work. Work doesn’t really feature in my thoughts, except that it will be the cause of me leaving Bea. I thought women who never left their babies (like I haven’t) were… I don’t know, like a shadow of their former selves. Why didn’t they want to go out and do the things they did before? Because it doesn’t compare to spending the day with your little love. Why did they suddenly lose interest in their careers or job? I never expected to be desperate to get back to work, but I didn’t think I would feel so strongly that I didn’t want to go. I suppose it’s an evolutionary thing. After all, if it were easy to leave our babies, mothers would have left them in years gone by and helpless offspring would have come to all kinds of harm.

I’ve heard so many friends and acquaintances tell me the reality is much worse than the anticipation. And I know that in months to come I will probably welcome some time to myself, when she’s a full on toddler and every moment is exhausting and full of ‘why’s’. Or maybe I won’t. Right now, every bone in my body feels that leaving her is wrong and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

I’m terrified I’m going to miss out. I’m terrified she will miss me and feel abandoned. All I can think is that she might need her Mummy and I won’t be there. That I should be there.

So I may or may not be around for the next week or two. I can see I will want to spend time with Bea instead of blogging, but if I do find myself at a loose end there me be a post or two on these pages. Bear with me, and I’ll be back once I’m on an even keel again.

Love,
Rebecca
xo