Number 2.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a chatty post around here… I’m very curious about this one. It’s a tad specific so apologies to the non-mama readers I have, but if you are a mama, when did you start craving number 2?

Just last week I met with friends and talk turned to babies and planning future children. She said that around this time (Bea is 15 months) she suddenly became totally obsessed with having another and now she is mum to 2 beautiful girls 🙂 I asked her if she thought it was biological or just her desired timeframe between children and she said it was more biological.

It registered with me because I feel the same! I don’t think I was ever truly ‘broody’ before Bea, but recently I’ve had this uncontrollably (well almost,) 😉 urge to get pregnant again, even though it’s not what I really want life or space between children-wise. I know lots of women have said the same to me regarding trying for their first. Its unimaginable before it happens and it still find it hard to believe that biology can be so powerful. (- why I find this hard to believe I don’t know, being a scientist and all!) I wonder if it happens to everyone at a certain time, is it nature? Is it related to breast feeding less, so the timing might vary mum to mum…?

So I wondered… have you felt like this before? Before your first? And if you already have a baby, when did wanting another kick in for you?

Looking forward to reading your thoughts with a coffee later 😉

Love,
Rebecca xo

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56 thoughts on “Number 2.

  1. It was around 14 months I started thinking about a second but I had always wanted to have a 2 year age gap like my sister and I. To get the ‘harder’ years out of the way, I couldn’t imagine getting my firstborn off to school and then having to start with nappies and feeding again.
    It took us a while to get pregnant the first time so we were very shocked to discover I got pregnant immediately second time round. I don’t think I would have coped with a smaller age gap though it was very hard work having 2 under 2’s!

  2. I had it with my first (now 2 1/2). I went from being the least maternal person I knew to NEEDING a baby almost instantaneously. I’m still waiting for it to kick in again. We think we will have a second, and probably start trying sooner rather than later but don’t think that the decision is going to be driven by a biological clock this time.

  3. My little girl is 17 months now and I think it kicked in for me about 14 months and is still going strong. Which is daft really as with just starting a new job and my husband going to be working away a lot more in the next year, it would not be ideal timing at all.
    A lot of my friends with children the same age seem to be trying at the moment and I don’t think that helps. My irrational side feels genuinely jealous of them when I should just be feeling happy for them xxx

  4. I’d say I started wanting to think about it from around 9 months but the plan was always around or over a two year gap. However, as its now my first day back, I’d say the urge got a lot stronger to shorten that time about 25 minutes ago!!!. I don’t think it’s necessarily related to BF as we are still feeding until she’s settled in at nursery (I’m expecting mad flu bugs so figured best to keep up supply).

    We had four years between siblings and I don’t think that’s realistic in this age where women wait much longer to start having a family. Maybe that’s a London thing as you need to be more established career wise to have the space. It’s quite possible to cope with a baby in a one bed flat, but two babies would be too much. So maybe the urge is linked to age? I’ll be 34 next year and I’d not want to leave it much later for fear of it being harder.

    Out of the 6 parents in my NCT group, I’d say 5 are either actively trying or planning to in the New Year.

    And whilst we’re on the topic of number 2, we often talk about whether we would do anything differently. I’d definately get more into baby wearing as I think you have to with a rampant toddler but I would also give in trying to think about nap times and just go with the flow more. It took almost 10 months to realise she rules the roost and nothing I do will make any difference to whether she sleeps or not!

  5. I think 2 years is a really common age gap and there must be a reason for it! I started wanting another at about 18 months but waited until 33 months before going for it. I’m happy with that age gap as my son should be independent enough to allow me to focus on the newborn – he will be at nursery which will give me some one to one time. Plus I had spd in my first pregnancy so wanted to get to a stage where my son didn’t need lifting much anymore.

  6. I would have started trying when our first was about 6 months but we had been advised to wait a year for medical reasons (and my husband wasn’t so keen for such a quick turnaround!). It wasn’t anything to do with feeding timing for me as the timings don’t tally.

    I think it was a combination of having my siblings close in age, the fact that I actually enjoyed the newborn stage and that I couldn’t imagine getting to the point where my son was more independent and starting all over again.

    We were lucky that it happened quickly and our second is due in 10 weeks (his due date is the day our son will be 23 months).

    It probably would have been sensible to wait until he is in nursery as I have horribly complicated pregnancies and have had to rely on my family helping A LOT and obviously pregnancy with a toddler is exhausting regardless…. but now our second baby is nearly here I am glad we didn’t do the more practical thing (for our situation) and wait.

    Am sure there are lots of pros others can see for having a bigger gap too!

  7. Morning Rebecca, I’m a long time reader but this is my first post as it is very timely!
    My daughter Orla is 18 months old and I started to think about number 2 when she was around 12 months old, when breastfeeding started to slow and my NCT friends started discussing it A LOT. So I’m unsure what may have influenced me however I returned to work when Orla was 1 and got caught up in work and thought its probably best to leave it a year or so. In August I took a pregnancy test and discovered I was 10 weeks pregnant…how did that happen!! I was massively shocked and worried about coping with 2 under 2, it seems I stopped breastfeeding then fell pregnant the following month.
    Baby number 2 is due at the end of February and I can’t wait, yeah its going to be hard but I think fate nudged us in the right direction!

  8. I’m so broody at the moment too! T is 15 months and it’s been humming away for a month or so. Nothing to do with breastfeeding for us as he weaned himself off the boob (OK, way to make me feel rejected!) at 10 months. For me I think it’s being back at work, feeling a bit more settled in our routine & feeling like maybe we could deal with another one, not a feeling I’d had up until this point! Also, he’s just so damn cute at the moment! I honestly have never loved him more than right now and I just want to replicate it again and again!! It’s crazy, I found the newborn stage unbelievably hard!
    HOWEVER, similarly, we are in no shape to have another one just yet either for all the reasons you cite. We think we might start trying again when he’s 2 so I’m seeing the next few months as a time to push on at work.
    But, making a plan like that always makes me nervous – nothing ever goes to plan with kids!!

  9. Just. As in October 2015. Ava is 2 years 8 months. I started new job beginning of this year, and did not wanted to add another child to the mix. Also disliked being pregnant (sickness till 27 weeks – and not the just feeling queasy variety, but five times a day sickness). Had a grade 3 or 4 tear with Ava (can’t quite remember), but I wanted to give it time to heal. Actually childbirth was easier than the sickness.

    I’m very close to my younger brother, and we’re 7 years apart, so never bought into the having close together argument for sibling closeness. I have to pay for childcare, and if I could time it that I have second child, and then returning to work when Ava is school age, it’d make my life easier with childcare costs. Also, I’d like to have the free entitlement on maternity leave, as income will be lower re paying for childcare, but I will need some time with just one child to keep me sane.

    Ava has always been very lively, and hard work. I love her dearly but she is very full on.

    As you can see practicality has possibly come into it, but this month broodiness has happened. Now that Ava is talking and potty trained, and sleeping better (from 7.30pm to 6am with no daytime sleeps); I’m coping better. Perhaps this is why? Maybe you are already coping, so it’s 15 months.

    xx

    • Ditto Katie, my sister and I are 5 years apart and very close so I don’t buy it either. I never understand when people say their kids must be close together so they will be close… that said its tougher in childhood so I see it both ways, it just doesn’t affect my thought process.

      Also think you’re right and someone else above. If you can cope, the thought of another somehow suddenly easier, and I’ve been settled back at work for a while, theres nothing massive going on with the house… so life seems ok. Maybe thats it!

      • My sister and I are 18 months apart & fought like cats & dogs until we were ‘grown ups’! I do not buy into the ‘perfect’ age gap theory at all.

  10. This is very timely as I have just found out that I am pregnant with number 2 and my first is 16 months old! I always knew I wanted 2+ kids with a 2-3 year age gap but I went from “I’m not sure I could do it all again” to “I must get pregnant now” practically overnight when my boy turned about 14 months. Similarly to Becca, 4 of my NCT mum friends are pregnant with most of the rest want to start trying at Christmas so biology must be playing some role, surely?!

  11. Max is 14.5 months now and was conceived with clomid, so I don’t think any further pregnancies will happen for us without further medication. I haven’t been on contraception since having Max, but I am still feeding him 2-3 times a day, so this may be affecting my fertility too! We both would love another child, but as Max gets bigger and develops more of a personality which we fall in love with more and more, I sometimes can’t imagine having another child and whether I would feel the same way about him or her! I’m sure I would, and people with more than one child reassure me that the love you have for them grows rather than gets spread thinner, but we are trying to just see how it goes before making a very conscious decision to start the clomid again.

  12. Well, conceiving our (now 22 month old) daughter took a long time and an ICSI, so we have not been using protection at all and we are hoping for an accident / monitoring my cycle since it came back 4 months postpartum. If it would happen spontaneously this time that would be so magical and amazing. In terms of really feeling it / craving it I think it probably happened this summer, so around 18 months. I am still not pregnant, so we will probably end up at the doctor’s office soon.

  13. my daughter is turning two on Sunday and only really in the last few weeks have I even considered number 2. I definitely have not felt ready or broody at all so not biological for me. However, now I am thinking about it because I want it for Freya. The prospect excites me but still fills me with fear!!

  14. I felt very broody once my eldest turned one, we started trying a few months later and got pregnant straight away, we have a 23 month age gap and my youngest is now 9 months. I had wanted a bigger age gap initially so I think biology definitely nudged me along. Even now, knowing how hard it was having two young children at home I am starting to want a third. Which is crazy because I am absolutely shattered and just about treading water with two! Luckily I had the coil fitted this time so I can’t make any rash decisions!

  15. Tessa is going to be 3 on Saturday, and Lucy is 6 weeks today.

    I honestly don’t think I could have had them any closer together than the 3 years they are. I adore babies but having Tess made me realise how claustrophobic being a mum can be. It was important to me that she would be a bit more independent by the time a sibling arrived. So we started trying shortly after Tessas second birthday and it happened pretty instantaneously.

    For me, the fact that Tess can eat on her own, is potty trained, can help out and can communicate really well has made the world of difference; both now Lucy is here but also during pregnancy when I was completely exhausted.

    Of the 8 of my NCT group we have all now had our second babies, 4 of us in the last 8 weeks! So I guess we must have been thinking along similar lines.

  16. While planning my wedding I started to think about having a baby, I just thought it was perfect timing and with every month closer to the wedding I started to get more and more broody. Luckily I fell pregnant straight away or the broodiness would of been terrible. I was happy having one child but hubby wanted another. I can’t say that I ever got as broody for a second but when my daughter turned a year she was suddenly at such a cute age and the hard days and sleepless night were behind us so I started to think how nice it would be to have a baby again. I fell pregnant the next month (I swear my hubby has super sperm) There is a 22 month age gap between my daughter and son and although I wouldn’t change it for the world it was bloody tough going (silent reflux, multiple allergies and no sleep for a year) it is much easier now. Hubby has had the snip as we both feel our family is complete, won’t lie though whenever I hold a newborn I get a wee pang of regret that I will never have that again.

  17. It was instant for me after our daughter, less so for my husband though! After a long journey with surgery and plenty of drugs to conceive her, he needed a breather. When Stella was 9 months old we were actively ‘trying’ (bleurgh) fully expecting to need more treatment and ending up with a 4yr+ age gap. I fell pregnant by happy natural out of the blue accident when S was 16m old, we were very very lucky. The 2 year gap has been perfect, for us. Obviously it’s got a lot to do with the toddler themselves but the sibling relationship has been totally wondrous from day one and we’re left hoping we’ll be lucky enough to get another turn, Monty is 6m now and luckily a very easy baby – I imagine I’d feel differently if he was more high-needs.

  18. I think the urge for a 2nd hit me quite soon after my little girl turned 1. I’m not sure that was something biological, the fact that everyone around me was talking about trying, or the fact that E had reached a really cute stage in her life. As it was we had to be practical; I’d just had a big promotion at work so didn’t want to risk it all with another pregnancy and we had an extension planned that we wanted to get sorted before another arrival.

    When we did start trying E was 22 months and we felt we didn’t want to hold off any longer. However this time it took a lot longer (6 months feels an age when everyone else is announcing around you). I’m now 15 weeks and it is tough; I had hyperemisis last pregnancy and was hospitalised with it, but this time coupled with a toddler and stressful job it’s been a nightmare. We’ve already decided that this has to be the last as I my body would struggle with another pregnancy, which makes me sad but also a little relieved that the decision is kind of out of our hands! X

  19. I always thought I’d want an age gap similar to me and my sister which is just under two years, but after having my first I realised I wasn’t up for that! My little boy is 18 months now though and both my husband and I are now super broody for a second – I think 18 months is such a lovely age that it’s making it seem even more appealing. Financially though, I think we will have to postpone a bit longer – my last pregnancy was hard going, so I do want to keep my first in nursery, which will be tough financially as I’m self employed, so not much in the way of maternity pay coming in. I’m hoping for a 3 year age gap, but who knows what fate has in store!

  20. In the abstract, I would love another baby, in the woolly Non real place where being pregnant fills me with benevolent earth goddess beauty and newborns are sleepy little angels. In reality I really found pregnancy hard going and the first eight weeks hell due to pain from an episiotomy, Dural puncture and undiagnosed mastitis.

    So… We are going to wait until Silvia turns two to start trying. Hopefully baby will be born and she will be at preschool each morning so a bit of one on one for baby and I, plus active fun time for big sis. I guess I do have time on my side- I will be about to turn 30 a few months after she is 2, and I would like a similar age gap before number three. Hopefully our barn conversion “grand design” will be done by then too so there will be space for the growing family!

    Also, you have to have sex to have another! My libido is in the toilet- I’m blaming the breastfeeding hormones but pretty sure the episiotomy has left me with some residual fears. I would like to see a post on sex post partum, maybe with your GP hat on so it wouldn’t have to get too intimate Rebecca? GP breezily told me it would be uncomfortable for at least 6-8 months. Cheers for that.

    • Breastfeeding. That is all I have to say on that 😉

      Actually, BF reduces lubrication (mother nature preventing a second baby to threaten the first babes milk supply) but also I think that plus a lack of time to think about sex and devote to foreplay etc adds to discomfort which can make it a vicious cycle of unenjoyable sex and low motivation to repeat the experience. There we go. Short answer 😉

  21. You lucky lucky ladies 🙂 I have been broody since I remember and have now been trying for what seems like forever! It’s 4 years next month and I have gone from mega broody to the complete opposite and back in this time. Some of my friends have had 2 children while we’ve been trying. Perhaps I am just destined for a life without children 🙂

    • All the love in the world to you. Luck is exactly what it is – if only it were a choice – and I hope you find yourself lucky in so many ways, be they child related or not xxxxxx

      • Don’t know what happened there – I meant to reply to Aislings comment and it appeared under yours Rebecca- oops!
        Thanks for commenting and sorry for hijacking your post. I have indeed been to the Drs, in fact spent most of the last 2 years having Nhs investigations and treatments, alas to no avail. Unfortunately the NhS can do no more for me it seems so I am currently investigating my options. All my friends conceived easily in their early 30s so didn’t have any reason to doubt I would but now aged 37, I realise that we are alll not so lucky. Thanks for your concern 🙂

    • Without wishing to pry, have you been to the Dr? It doesn’t always solve everything but I have seen women who casually told me they have been trying for years without success and they have really passed the window of time (and age) where we can really help effectively… so don’t leave it forever 🙂

      • Thanks Aisling- that’s very sweet. We are considering adoption (if we are unable to have children) but I just can’t give up the hope that one day we will be blessed with a child of our own xx

    • Anon, I sincerely hope you find yourself lucky and send you so much love. I’ve been in similar shoes – premature ovarian failure, given less than 1% IVF success rate. Somehow, against all the odds we got lucky and now aged 40 I have a fast approaching 3 yr old. She is a miracle. But there will never be a sibling for her, despite our best efforts, so posts like this, whilst I love to read them, make me sad too as I know the door on second child club is firmly closed to me. But then I remember that families come in many shapes and sizes and adoption may also be the route we go down to grow our family. i sincerely hope you get your wish. Xxxx

  22. I had never been hugely broody until I was pregnant. Then, even though I was having a pretty horrendous pregnancy, I found myself thinking, “This is AMAZING! Can I get pregnant again RIGHT NOW?! No… Okay… How soon after giving birth, then?!”

    Now that my daughter’s here, it’s waned – she’s taking all my energy. Is fifteen months maybe a point when you’ve got plenty of energy again and your child is relatively low maintenance…?

  23. Oh I’m so broody! My first is 14 months on Wednesday. I think part of it is hormonal (I didn’t feel the urge to have a baby like this the first time) and part of it is my head. He’s been an easy baby so far and that makes the thought of a second quite manageable, plus I want to get the newborn stuff over with whilst I’m in The Zone! But also I’m totally amazed by what it is to have children now. He’s just so amazing that I’m curious to see who else we can make! I’m scared to death too though. I was very anxious in pregnancy and throughout the newborn days, and that makes me just want to stay as we are. Quit whilst we’re ahead or something… We’re going to start trying soon all the same though

  24. How funny, it all seems very similar doesn’t it! when number 1 was 15 months old I was literally aching for another and by the time she was 17 months old I was already pregnant. Number 2 is now 16 months old and I can not imagine being pregnant again right now x x x

  25. Definitely starting feeling broody again after 18 months as that was the point where I just felt it got a whole lot easier and I could envisage another. Sadly we then had an early miscarriage (just goes to show you can’t plan too much!) however we were lucky to then conceive straight away (which meant I had no idea of dates! ) I’m now 17 weeks and all is well so far. 🙂

    This pregnancy has been a lot harder so far than the first (probably because I have a toddler!) and I think I may be more scared as I know the reality!! But also really looking forward to holding that little baby in my arms. Plus I definitely wanted to give DD1 a sibling.

    Xx

  26. Morning, looks like I’m the only one who hasn’t felt it! My son is now 3 years old and utterly fabulous. However the first year was ‘hellish’ – he did not do the baby stage well at all and it put a massive strain on us as a couple. Now that things are great, he is fun, and we are feeling steady we don’t feel any urge to change things. The broody feelings never kicked in, and in fact it feels just perfect and right as it is. Financially, practically, emotionally – on all levels we just don’t feel that we will want to change things. Our NCT Friends have started having their 2nd, and whilst they are lovely and I love having a cuddle, its great to hand them back and feel glad about our unbroken nights 🙂 However we are finding that everyone assumes we will have a second so are getting those ‘questions’….

    • LJ we’re in the same place as you I think…..all the chat is about number 2 as I sit there thinking “are you all mad? what a terrifying anxiety ridden sleepless nightmare it’s been”. I really really really struggled for the first 8 months, and in fact only felt better once I returned to work and we had childcare, so I didn’t feel like I was doing battle all day long. Now she’s 13 months and it is better, we are much more bonded and all happier in our family. Let alone the practicalities such as space and having to pay for two in childcare….at the moment its more of an emotional decision for me, I don’t think I can’t put myself through it again (which feels selfish) but I was so lost. I’m so proud of where we have got to, I just can’t imagine gambling all that again.

      • Victoria, I totally understand! Your last 2 sentences really struck a cord with me. You are not alone. I don’t think it’s selfish – my view is a happy healthy parent means a happy healthy child. Its about what’s doing best for the whole family, whatever that might be.

    • I dont think it’s selfish either… theres no unwritten rule that says you must have more than one child! Personally, I wouldnt want Bea to miss out on having a sibling, but thats my choice and you have every right to yours! x

  27. We always knew we would want a second and I was waiting to feel really broody, but for me it was more about feeling ready to be pregnant again and take the time off work. My husband was much worse than me! It wasn’t until Freddie was 18 months that I thought I could do it again and now Lara is here with a 2 year 5 months gap. My pregnancy was tough so I’m glad Freddie was older and happy to spend time with other people as well as being settled at nursery, but we’re now going through toddler tantrums and potty training plus a newborn, which is interesting!

  28. Honestly, I wanted another the moment my first was born. It took us a few years to conceive him, a miscarriage and IUI. I always knew I wanted more than one and the absolutely high I experienced after giving birth made me want another one instantly-maybe because in the back of my mind I knew it might be difficult for us to conceive again.

    I never used protection after DS1 was born, my periods returned as I cut down on breastfeeding at 8 months. DS2 was conceived naturally three days after my little boy turned one!!!!! He is due in 5 weeks time.

    Still on cloud nine about it and can not wait to meet him. I will have two under two for four months but I don’t feel too phased; it’s never going to be ‘easy’ but it will definitely be fun and there will be lots and lots of love!

    I have to say I can’t imagine this being my last pregnancy and I hope to start trying for a #3 when this one is about two (so not as quickly again!) In an ideal world where money was no object I’d have 4! But my hubby is very practically minded so We may compromise on three. I love pregnancy, babies, children and being mum so much!!!

    I did return to work (to a new job) when no.1 was 6mos so in terms of financial benefits, I have literally JUST become entitled to all my maternity pay-very lucky! I may have been a bit more sensible with timing if I hadn’t been so sure that I would have been eligible for this pay.

    • Oh and I have to say….pregnancy is way harder with a toddler. I don’t think I truly knew the meaning of ‘hot flush’ until now!

  29. Reading comments about NCT conversations reminds me of some of our closest friends. As soon as we were all married three years ago conversations immediately turned to children and they’ve all had their first or are due before Xmas and are talking about Number 2. But we held / are holding off because of my mental health. It was really hard not to ‘join in’, especially as we’ve received some particularly harsh comments from certain friends, hubby and I are really broody and our parents are almost demanding a grandchild. I’ve had a ‘career break’ for the last six months to confront my anxiety and depression and now that I’m more emotionally stable and really know and accept myself I know that waiting has been the best thing we could ever have done. So for my tuppence worth, your gut knows what and when things are right so be kind to yourself, trust your instinct and listen to it.

    • So sorry you have had to deal with harsh comments, especially from friends! I am hoping this new wave of interest in not asking these questions and leaving people to their own reproductive choices will prevent comments like that.
      I am so glad you are doing what is right for you and wish you two all the best 🙂

  30. Such a timely post… I’ve been thinking a lot recently. G is nearly 17 months. I always knew I wanted two(or more!) but until G was about 10 months I would have despaired if I found out I was pregnant again as I was so sleep deprived and miserable. Since he turned one though, he has slept much better, I’m back at work and honestly prefer that to mat leave. I feel happy, and ready to give it a go, fingers crossed x

  31. Funnily enough, having had utter conviction about the space I would like between children and having thoroughly considered all the inherent benefits of a 3+ yr gap (eldest being at nursery to allow one on one bonding time with number 2, a couple of years to catch up on lost sleep etc) we have recently found out we are having another and will only have a 21 month age gap. One stupid night of carelessness (which didn’t even feel that careless since I am still breastfeeding and haven’t yet had a period since willow was born). I won’t lie; I am not at all happy about it. I feel like a huge decision, which I was NOWHERE NEAR making, has been taken out of my hands (admittedly due to a bit of drunken tomfoolery on our part). However, over the past couple of weeks I have begun to change my thinking – I was previously approaching it as something which I had taken away from my firstborn – precious one-on-one time with mummy until she was well out of baby and toddlerhood. But the delighted reactions of my husband and family members has helped me to begin to realise that, as evidenced by my own amazing sisters, a sibling is a wonderful gift. That has helped to ease some of the guilt and sadness. I’m not quite there yet though- I know how ungrateful that must sound to people who are struggling to conceive.

    It’s really helped me to hear the positive stories above from those with similar gaps. Can I ask whether any of you were still breastfeeding? How did you handle the transition – I don’t want to confuse my daughter or make we think that she is being replaced by the new baby, but equally I was beginning to think about weaning anyway … Be interested to hear others’ experiences xx

    • In our case we have decided not to potty train/move into a big boy bed until our first is two, which will mean we have all settled as a family and baby no.2 will be at least four months old by that point. I am not going to pressure no.1 into ‘growing up’ just because there will be a younger baby around. For us this has meant buying another cot but it is a small price to pay for keeping everyone happy and with continuity. From what I have read, the older one is likely to experience a bit of a regression to babyhood with the arrival of no.2 so we will support him with that and focus on the ‘big boy’ stuff when he is between 24-30 months.

      Also, we are not yet expecting him to use a buggy board all the time as we walk to loads of places and have treated ourselves to a pre loved double buggy (mountain buggy duet). We will keep the single buggy and use it when we need to. I doubt we will use the double for more than a year but I can see it will be very useful whilst they are both still little-lots of options out there.

      In addition, I know Gina Ford and the contented little baby books seem very controversial; I’ve quite liked some of her advice on some things. What I have found particularly useful is ‘Contented little baby and toddler’ which gives loads of practical advice on managing the two of them, e.g double bath times, how to talk and play with the older one when breastfeeding the younger etc. By 21 months your little one will also be able to help you lots more, my little boy brings me things, puts nappies in the pail, undresses himself etc.

      As for breastfeeding I don’t know enough about that as our little one had just started cows milk when I conceived no.2.

      Could you keep your current childcare on? We are keeping our little one on at his childminders but on reduced hours-I currently work three days (mat leave starts next week!!!) and will continue with my childcare vouchers throughout my leave. Little one will go to childminder for two short days (9-3) a week-he loves it there and will enjoy the continuity, we keep our place with our awesome childminder and I will be using that time to catch up on sleep and lie on the floor next to baby no.2 on the gym mat! Mummy sanity days!!!

  32. I couldn’t imagine having another one until suddenly one day when my little girl was 17 months I just changed my mind! We have a 2 year 3 month age gap which is great. My little boy has just turned two and they play together really well and it has all suddenly become managable again – my eldest is in reception, my youngest in preschool, I’m at work part time..and now I suddenly can’t stop thinking about number 3!

  33. I’ve always wanted more than one child being an only child so I was pretty keen to start trying relatively soon after we had Isabella in 2011 but hubby wasn’t as keen. I think we started trying after about a year but after nearly a year of trying and nothing happening I went to the doctors to be referred. Funnily enough we conceived Isabella within 1 period of coming off the pill but this time round it seemed to take forever, I also have very long cycles ranging from 30-90 days so there wasn’t as many opportunities to get pregnant as the average woman. I found out I was pregnant soon after going to the doctors and going for tests, but within days of finding out, I unfortunately had a miscarriage. We then started trying again a few months later and again nothing happened, so again went to the doctors to get referred for tests and within weeks found out I was pregnant yet again 🙂 I don’t know if it was a case of worrying whilst trying and nothing happening and then when I went for tests, making me think help was on it’s way, it happened naturally!! The mind / body is a funny old thing. Whilst I guess I was trying to take the causal ‘let’s just see what happens’ approach, sub consciously I was probably quite stressed about the whole thing and aware of me approaching the grand old age of 40!! Joshua arrived in early March this year so in the end we have nearly a 4 age gap between our two. In some ways it’s lovely as I had 4 lovely years with Isabella having my undivided attention and now she’s at school Joshua will have most of my attention l but I do wish they were slightly closer in age as I think in the future they will be in quite different stages of childhood but Isabella adores him and he follows her like a hawk so I’m hoping that there will be a close bond despite the age gap. In an ideal world if I was younger I think I’d like a 3rd but I had pretty hellish births and I’m just glad that they both made it into the world safe and sound and would be scared that I wouldn’t be as lucky third time round, plus with my age there is more risk of things going wrong. We have talked about potentially another but if we did it would have to happen now as far as I’m concerned and after taking so long the last time I wouldn’t want to be getting much older and then the thought of two under two scares me!! So I think we’ll be settling on two as we are so lucky to have one of each xx

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