Today, I was going to write about time management. The one thing that everybody says to me without fail when they either a. hear that I write a blog as well as do my day job, or b. hear that I work full time as well as write a blog, is ‘how do you find the time?’ The truth is I don’t. I just use literally every second of time that I have. Sometimes it works but balancing it all is an art form. An art that sometimes I feel like I have mastered and other times I feel like I fail at day after day after day.
Image Credit: Fab.com
Right now, for no particular reason I feel like that. The whole ‘stop the world, I want to get off‘ thing? That’s me right now. I keep fantasising about having 2 weeks of doing nothing. I’ve even started to think fleetingly about emigrating and starting again. I always know things are bad when I feel like that. When I start day dreaming about what else I could do with my life. I realise that probably sounds either crazy or slightly depressing and I promise I’m not either, but do you ever wonder what might have been? Although I’ve had a ton of amazing experiences, committing to my career as soon as my feet touched down in uni (or sooner if you count opting not to take a gap year,) buying a house and getting married all made for a life that didn’t really lend itself to spontaneity. All were choices I made and things I wanted at the time, but whenever I’m feeling hemmed in my thoughts turn to escaping, emigrating, starting again.
Of course, that’s a serious case of the grass is always greener syndrome. No matter where you go, your bills and paperwork are bound to follow you. The worst thing about feeling snowed under (I find) is that no sooner than you have cleared the decks and committed to some down time, have those niggling tasks and life admin started to accumulate again. It feels like being a Guinea Pig on a wheel.
Maybe it’s the terrible summer we have had. Maybe it’s the extra work I’m doing right now. Maybe it’s written in the stars. All I seem to be able to do is fantasise about how to sort it all out and regain some balance so I thought I would make a (realistic) list of things I’d rather be doing. Kind of the antidote to burn out.
- Flicking through the September issues in a long hot bath.
- Baking a cake that has so many layers and fillings that it requires taking over the entire kitchen for a whole day and thinking of nothing but sugar.
- Watching a black and white movie on a grey afternoon with the rain falling on the windows.
- Reading in a chair instead of my bed, when I’m able to keep my eyes open for more than 10 minutes.
- Taking a day trip to the seaside, feeling the wind in my hair and the sun on my face and paddling.
- Finding time for a yoga class and getting some mental balance.
Rebecca, I totally get this! The tipping point for me is usually when things have got so overwhelming that I freak out about something stupid (losing my keys, crossing the road etc), that’s when I know I need to stop it all for a bit. Luckily James is amazing at pulling me back, bundling me into the car for a nice day trip or plonking me in front of a film with a glass of wine.
Yes I feel like this alot!! We put so much pressure on ourselves to do so much that there is little time for downtime!! The hubs always jokes that I am always thinking about something – as often just as we are about to go to bed i’ll say – We so need to do this around the house or we need to have a look at better deals for car insurance!! My mind doesnt stop whirring where as he is very good at just switching off!!
I tell myself often with the blog (when I fret that its not as good as I want it to be!) thats its my blog and its a hobby and I control when and what I post… It gives me a bit of perspective….
The baking a cake thing sounds blissful and I really want to take a trip to the cinema and just watch a chick flick on my own with some popcorn!! Bliss!!
xxx
Rachie xo
Feeling this post today. I’ve just had a ridiculously busy couple of months, compounded by dad getting very sick, its just been a bit overwhelming. I’ve coped by taking a few minutes to just sit and breath in the garden – no distractions and I also find having holidays booked in give me a goal to reach, where I know I can just stop.
I’m on one of those breaks now, just at home, hanging out, finishing off a bit of decorating, counting my blessings. Reminding myself that I can be in control. That doing extra “stuff” is lovely but sometimes it just needs to be about my husband, the cat and I.
I say all this in the full knowledge that work is going to be extremely busy between now and mid December and my next holiday will be the start of my Christmas break. Without wishing the year away, I’ll be looking forward to that break throughout the autumn and my annual spa trip at that time of year.
Saying no to things and finding your own “life pause” button is key. Think, like many things, this is work in progress – it certainly is for me!
Also, tea, cake and a good natter really is one of the best remedies I’ve found.
Agree with that!!! xx
too right!
OMG – I am so feeling this right now! Again, FF is reading my mind! I’m so over-whelmed and under-rested at the moment with everything going on at work and home that it literally just came to head this lunch time in the Canary Wharf shopping mall. A series of rude shop assistants, my inability to find any of the things I was looking for or need, low blood sugar levels and then a hideously rude man shouting at me for getting in his way, and I just stopped in the middle of the walkway and cried.
When it gets to that stage I know that the perfect remedy is some sofa time with my best girls (any combination of), a few buckets of tea, my body weight in Jaffa Cakes, pyjamas, some time allocated for ranting and getting it all off my chest/out of my head and then settling in for chats, gossips and baby snuggles.
It never, EVER fails!
it also works when I get a bit too hoity toity about things – they give me a verbal slap and I’m back on the ground ready for sofa surfing and tea guzzling!!
Can totally relate to this and know the feeling well, have been working six days a week every week for what seems like an eternity. Am dreaming about a two week holiday somewhere remote and hot but will settle for a short break at the seaside this weekend instead!
I always find the best remedy to be fresh air (taking the dog for a walk), exercise, healthy food and catching up with friends. Also you really can’t beat a duvet day!
(with hubby if possible)
x
PS: Keep up the good work, I love this blog and am amazed at how you fit it all in with your day job it really is inspiring and motivational!
For me, it depends on the kind of stress. If it’s a general ‘life is too busy’ feeling, then either exercise or a trip to the sea work wonders, they just take your mind off everything for a while.
If it’s more worry about a certain thing or things, then like the girls above Im a great fan of a natter (or in my case rant!) with friends.
Overall I think the one big mistake I make over and over again is doing everything without thinking about asking for help.
I’m another joining you in burnout mode at the mo! First of all, I know I am very grateful that you keep this blog going alongside everything else and I’m sure all of your other readers are too! It’s one of the places I come when I feel a need to have 10 minutes to myself and get some inspiration.
I was describing this very feeling to my OH the other night as he made a flying visit home between work trips as like somebody was literally piling things on top of my head and they were almost physically starting to weigh me down. My cure, apart from a very foolhardy attempt at pretending it’s all not happening, is a glass of wine and a giggle with my best friends plus the biggest cuddle possible from the boy. Never fails. I do also concur with the cake suggestion though!
PS – Violet&Rose I agree re the walk, had a looooong walk and a natter with a friend after work last night which helped a lot!
I always find a walk can work wonders even if I’m tired and don’t want to go I always feel energised afterwards. Totally agree about a good cuddle too
I have just logged on from crying in the bathroom at work, im going to log off from here and book a few day off work next week.
Im at the emigrating stage right now, at the point of looking at jobs, renting houses etc but I know the grass isnt greener and I need to deal with the situation at home first. The joys of working with family can really really suck sometimes!
Oh no
hope your day gets better Marlene xo
Definitely take some time off if you can. I can sympathise about working with family, I work with my husband and it has been the biggest test of our relationship ever, keep your chin up x
(from the other Marlene
)
Hi Rebecca, I get this ‘burnout’ syndrome too! Saying yes to too many things, feeling like the only downtime I get is when I’m going to sleep, constantly moving from task to task without feeling like I’ve tackled them fully… list is endless!
I like to go for runs or bike rides around London Parks, have a Pride and Prejudice or Downton Abbey marathon with a duvet and a glass or two of ice cold Sauvignon Blanc or catch up with an old friend I’ve not seen in a while, the type that knows you inside out but no matter how long it’s been knows what to say and when to tell me to just buck up my ideas!
Thanks for writing a piece like this, it’s good to sometimes realise that everyone is capable of letting things get on top of them sometimes (and to be honest I was starting to think that you were some kind of Wonder Woman!).
xx
I too totally get this. I work 30 hours a week dealing with Financial Ombudsman complaints for an insurance company and I am trying to promote Cardiff Bridal Bootfayre, an event I am organsing.
I suffer from anxiety and depression and try not to let myself get run down as it seems worse when I am tired. I am going to treat myself to a radox bath tonight at about half eight and a face mask and forget the rest of the world exists. I know it sounds crazy sometimes its a luxury to switch my phone off and just concentrate on me or baking a cake… sometimes its just the simple things in life xx
Totally agree Helen, it is the simple things in life that are so restorative.
So, so true! I suffer massively from “the grass is greener” syndrome but am getting better now I have met the right man and have finally settled down.
I agree about the walking or running.. thats exactly what I do when I feel like everything is getting on top of me. The other thing is relaxing in a bubble bath..
I’m also really, really looking forward to the long Bank holiday weekend and a lie-in.. After having visitors staying the last 5 weekends, I am ready to curl up on the sofa with my hubby all weekend. Can’t wait!
Hope you find your awesome real soon Rebecca
Clare
Oh God SAME. All the time. My “get me off moment” was last weekend. We let our cleaner go (I hate how that sounds) because we couldn’t justify a cleaner for a one bed flat. Then it turned out that it was ME that would fill that gap. This weekend I just needed to get things CLEAN and so I spent all of Friday evening and the whole of Sunday scrubbing the top of the skirting boards.
I don’t find exercise relaxes me. I go to the gym every morning without fail (ok,….ish) for 6.45am. Therefore, the last thing I feel like doing is any form of exercise. I like walking outside (as compared with running at the gym). My favourite thing to do each weekend is get up early and have a really long walk on the heath with my friend followed by a three hour breakfast croissant sesh. There is nothing like fresh air and smuggling in croissants to the cafe because they are 72p at M & S and £2.50 at the Heath.
My other top tip would be to take TWO days off work in February and November and lie on the couch. Seriously. I call them my decadent days. I don’t clean. I don’t go to the gym. I just LIE LIKE A VEGETABLE and have a really hot bath and a nap. Amazeballs.
That sounds all kinds of awesome!
Becca this post made me smile ! Definetly using your 2 days in Feb and Nov that sounds great!
Becca, the Nov/Feb days off sound just perfect – why did I never think of that?! Going to use some of my remaining annual leave up tomorrow by booking a couple of days off in November for a breather.
I find that having time out often starts with just blocking time out, saying no to any plans for a weekend and hiding away. Why don’t you have a total blog holiday this bank holiday weekend Rebecca? I’m sure you can come back refreshed and recharged – which will make FF even better
Easier said than done, I’m sure, but the comments above suggest that we really would all understand if you had a little time out.
Fx
This is also perfect timing for me too. After a hellish day having a parking ticket slapped on my windscreen was the last straw causing a small breakdown to happen in the staff car park! I try to schedule either a weeks annual leave or four day weekend every 6-7 weeks. I’m 10 days away from a week off and seriously feeling the strain now, but that’s how I get through the day! I do feel sad though that I am constantly wishing for more time in the day to do more paperwork rather than activities I’d rather be doing! xXx
It feels strange to say that it’s almost nice to feel that there’s a good few people in the same boat at the moment! Definitely an aptly timed post for me too! I unfortunately take time when I really feel I have to but I do think every quarter would be a better way to make sure you charge your batteries and keep going I just get swept up in it all and then realise I haven’t had a week off all year.
Curling up with a paperback book (no ebook!) or a magazine with a cuppa or glass of wine is my favourite way to switch off. Or of course jetting off to somewhere sunny or even simply not being in a big old city!x
I’m so with you Rebecca. I’m currently juggling the day-job, setting up my business as wedding planner, trying to blog and doing some voluntary work. Nights are long and weekends are spent feeling guilty for not spending enough time with hubby. Tonight talking with my husband about fixing our mortgage rate for another 5 years made me feel trapped like a mouse in a cage! It makes me feel like running away, but, if I think about it rationally, I know that it’s just the pressure I’m under.
I still haven’t found a way to recharge, but I think a long holiday by the beach (definitely over 2 weeks!) accompanied by a couple of good books and my camera are in order. xx
Just caught up with FF and read this.
Hope you’re okay hun. This is exactly how I was feeling these last few weeks, to the point where I found myself crying in the supermarket because I couldnt decide what to buy for dinner….and I rarely cry about anything.
Matthew gave me a long hard talking to about living life at a million miles an hour and taking on too much. So for the past week I’ve stepped away from the comp (not completely as I still have work to do) but just generally unplugged a little bit. Not exactly rested as i’ve started the home redecoration project I’ve been wanting to for the last 12 months, in fact I’m knackered after 4 solid days of painting, moving, cleaning, sorting etc. but it’s such a different kind of tired, it’s not that emotional, devastating kind of tired, it’s actually quite a nice and satisfying feeling.
I’ve also taken time to meet with friends and family, spend time with Matts daughter doing nice things like going to the cinema.
It’s definitely helped me put things into perspective and remember what life is all about.
We’re both ambitious people and need to know we are giving 100% to everything we do. Sometimes the only thing that needs 100% focus is ourselves. Without that mental balance and clarity you can’t give it to anything else.
Seriously just clear the decks and give yourself a breather. Don’t try to plan too much as to how you fill that time just go with the flow. Get up that day and decide what you’d really like to do with your time and go do it. You’ll feel much better for it. Xxxx
The fact that I have been too busy to read and comment on this post until now says it all! I hope you manage to take some time out and feel more together soon Rebecca. We are all paddling away like mad under the cool exterior.
I have seriously been thinking about starting meditation classes….
Px
I’ve started going for a bike ride every evening by the sea, take some instagrams of my trip, answer emails on a bench on the prom, clear my head and get home and start work again. Sometimes you dont need 2 weeks to chill, just make a bit of time every day
I am glad I am not the only one feeling like this. I am in the process fo buying my ex out of our house, trying to look after a small dog on my own whilst juggling a new relationship and a crazy busy job. At the moment I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but I hope it is there somewhere. I agree about the importance of time off and holidays. I had a week off in January and ahve had nothing since and it is really taking its toll. Ironically I know all the things Ineed to do to relax but can’t seem to kick myself into action to do any of them
Yes, I need to breathe.
Life is fast. I am slow.
I love your comment, Anna! I feel so slow vs. life.
Those are absolutely the best antidotes! I would only add going for a muddy, windy walk before returning for that good book and yummy cake. Thoughts of emigrating is my alarm/escapism too. I find planning a big trip is a good alternative, and easier than applying for visas!